Good News (Brandon mass email)

Well kids, we made it home.

Just as I suspected, Ivan ran from me like a cute little redneck bunny wearing overalls and no shoes...whatever that means. On the plus side, we still have a place to live with all of the modern amenities still working. On the down side I was unable to liquidate Amy's clothes and use the profits to buy a new guitar and a big screen TV. We'll call that a draw.

Another lesson learned - I have a superpower. Through a weakness in my body I've developed a sinus infection that allows me to cough so hard that I end up with asthma-like symptoms which stop my ability to breathe for up to 20 seconds. They've given my drugs and tell me I'll heal, but I promise to learn to harness this ability. But will it befor good or evil?

While I was on these drugs Amy somehow managed to get me to agree to buying a cat. I've checked with the base JAG and he's assured me, unfortunately, that verbal contracts cannot be retracted on the virtue of temporary retardation, so it looks like we're getting a cat. I've tried to convince Amy that the kid in the appt next door has a cat, and that cats are easier to steal than toy dinosaurs, but she justdoesn't listen to reason. So this weekend we'll be out on the prowl(pictures to follow, I'm sure). My biggest concern is that a cat is a lot of responsibility. Just what kind of commitment is Amy expecting from me?

I've also learned a little something over the last couple of days, and I'd like to give some of you guys some advice. Many times I've been told that I should shut my mouth before I dig the hole any deeper. Well, it turns out that if you dig the hole deep enough she can't reach you.

Dance 'til you fall, love 'til you die, shut your mouth...raise the roof,
-B-