Still wasting your time (Brandon mass email)

Hola banditos, como esta?

So I've got some bad news. I tried calling some of you this weekend and kept getting weird answering machines. In fact two of them were accented heavily in Spanish so I didn't leave a message. Unless I've talked to you in the last two weeks you should send me your current phone number and address. If you've started dating a heavily Spanish accented man, please let me know and I'll leave you a message this time.

But the important thing is that we will be having an Allison open house starting about 2 in the afternoon on the Friday after Thanksgiving at my folks place. Amy and I will be in town from the Sunday before to the Saturday afterwards and we'll have built in baby sitters (my folks) all week so let me know what time is good and we'll be there!

If you need directions to my folks place, go to mapquest and find: and don't send that address to any of your Al Queda friends, capiche? And if you're on this list it is expected that you'll be attending. You may send reasons why you won't be attending but the following will not be allowed:
1) I'm sick
2) I'm dead
3) I won't even be in the state
4) I won't even be in the country
5) No, seriously Brandon, I'm in frickin' Iraq because there is a war going on
6) Look, dude, I talked to my boss and he won't give me special liberty just to make it back for a party at a friend's house
7) Customs arrested me when I tried to sneak back into the stupid country to get back to your stupid party to meet your stupid kid and now I'm looking at 5 or more years in stupid Levenworth. Stupid!

Acceptable reasons:
1) My baby is cute and because the day is about Allison I don't want her out shined Note: This only applies to the baby; parents are still required to attend.
2) I'll be late but I'll bring beer
3) I'll be late but I have a job lined up that pays six figures and doesn't have any responisibility.
4) I'll be late, and I don't have a job for you. As penance, I'll pay Allison's way through college. And bring beer.

See you there!
B