Proof that my New Year's resolution wasn't to send shorter emails (Brandon mass email)

So last email I promised a copy of our Christmas letter and photo and forgot. It should be attached this time. I hope.



















Okay, enough about that and onto the true meaning of Christmas. For 25 Christmases I have believed that Christmas was about a spirit of caring for your neighbors and taking some time to spend with family friends and loved ones. Boy was I WRONG. Christmas is now, and will forever be, about PRESENTS!!!

You can blame Amy for this realization - she happened to get me the coolest present ever forged. If you'll take a look at the picture below you will see how I want to be buried. No joke, if that jersey isn't on me I will haunt you from beyond the grave with something far worse than these pointless emails. If your eyes aren't so good, I happen to be underneath a SIGNED, ED MCCAFFERY VINTAGE ORANGE BRONCO JERSEY!!! It's rumored that even Buddha, after having reached enlightenment, uttered the words "I really want one of those".















Well Grandma and Grandpa Schrenk almost didn't make it down to Mississippi this year because of the light frost Denver's been having, but after bribing the necessary judges, and buying drinks for the proper pilots they made it down to join Amy's family in spoiling their first grandchild for her first Christmas. Unfortunately their luggage did not. When it finally did, it was the best December 26th Christmas EVER! They almost missed the trip home because of the second mild flurry, but this time they made their flight. Once again, the luggage didn't. If only George Bush had signed the Kyoto Treaty...

The job search can officially commence - I got orders that say I am officially receiving the boot in June. That being said, for those of you who have been distributing my resume, it's time to revisit those McDonald's and stir the dying embers. If you're suddenly feeling guilty and now want to give my resume to a firm send me an email. I would have attached one to this email, but mostly I'm just lonely so every single email asking for one helps me to imagine friends are writing me.

Lastly, I need to apologize to one of my friends who got engaged over Thanksgiving (you know who you are) but for some reason I think I'm not supposed to say anything yet. I'm so used to writing emails every other day and I completely forgot to give props to my other friend who's throwing away freedom so he can be burdened by the burying cement shoes of left hand metal - now that's good simile. But anyway, now's the time to give him the advice I give every engaged and married man: take frequent trips, with your fiance/wife of course, to Best Buy and go down the TV aisle to compare the size of the big screens of comparable price, to that little piece of rock attached to some shiny metal. For those of you just recently engaged, married, or who want to be married someday, remember tricks like this to keep your marriage fun and new!


If you didn't receive another email about a two weeks ago, either Amy submitted your name to this list or this email address was submitted by someone who did. One last plug - If you don't tell me to take you off this list, you're going to continue to receive these random and regularly ridiculous ramblings.

Merry Festivus,
B

PS Taylor and Stephanie - Got it. Thanks so much, hope all is well.

PSS Jared - I haven't forgotten. I'm still working on getting Chad's address and I'll send it as soon as I get it.

PSSS Chad, can you please send me your home address.