New Jobs and poetry (Brandon mass email)

First things first, www.geocities.com/amyaphiiz is the website you are supposed to visit to see pictures of my little girl. Other members of my family might be on there too, I can't remember. Either way, it is not a site designed for you to view my resume, Erin (congrats on your first shout out).

Now to more important things - how did the job search go? Well let me strongly recommend headhunters - they even made a guy like me mildly hireable. We essentially went through a round of "speed dating" (for those unfamiliar, check out "The 40-yr Old Virgin" as long as kids aren't in the room). At the first conference most folks had 4-7 interviews - I got 11. I rated the companies and they rated me on a fourth-graders dating scale - Yes, No, and Maybe. I went 9-1-1. I realized the civilian side would be a little less selective than the military, but COME ON! Three days later I had 10 more interviews. I know, you'd think that someone would have figured it out... WRONG - I went 10-0-0. IDIOTS!

Well, it's nice to have some selection now. Currently I'm looking primarily in the Houston area, but I have a couple of prospects in Dallas and Tulsa (don't give me that look, Amy, the job is good. Allison, stop it - did your mom teach you to glare like that?) A couple more weeks and a few more plant trips and my guess is I'll probably have a job! Also, a quick thanks to Clark and Lindsey for their help with Air Liquide and DOW.

Alright, now to the part of the email that you've been waiting for: POETRY! For those unfamiliar, I've always dabbled in the arts, and have found a special niche in Haiku. For those unfamiliar, Haiku is the japanese poetry which consists of three lines, the first with 5 syllables, then 7, then 5. I've started an organization if you'd like more info - World Haikuists (it's a word) Attempting To Align Dreams and Overcome the Rigor of Knormal (WHATADORK). Anyway , here goes:

I call this one Revelations;

Darkness envelopes,
burns with fiery, evil pain
got Coke up my nose

This next group is an an arrangement I've prepared for my wife's cat:

Worthless Cat - take one

Cat spins round and roud
dryer sheets ward off evil
so in there you stay

Worthless Cat - special edition

If she didn't want
a clean, sanitized, blonde cat
why'd she buy the bleach?

Worthless Cat - alternate ending

If she didn't want
a smooth, waterproof cat
why'd she buy the tape?

Worthless Cat - directors cut

If she didn't want
me to test household items
why'd she buy the cat?

Finally, the only redeeming part of this act. This one needs no title:

When Allison smiles
I'm suddenly reminded
all is right in life

Thank you, thank you. Just remember, along with long mass emails, all Haiku's presented in this email are property of SchrenkisSweet, Inc, and can be reproduced, but only if done so with perfect comedic timing.

Sorry, but it looks like I've run out of time. Thanks for sticking around and I look forward to sending another email and wasting a little more of your time.

B