Amy Got a Job - Take that Recession (Brandon Mass Email)

What's up party rockers? Speaking of party rockers, I love that song "Party Rock Anthem" but the title confuses me a little bit. Let's examine "party rock". Is that different from "singing in the shower" rock, or "screaming along with my car radio because Miley Cyrus is on" rock, or "just" rock? Next, an anthem, by definition, should encompass all scenarios, so does this anthem claim to encompass "2 year old birthday rockers", "50th wedding anniversary rockers", and "college kids at a kegger rockers"? Even Socrates is likely dumbfounded with this pursuit of the good, the true and the beautiful.

We have some newcomers to the group, so welcome. For those unaware I tend to send these ridiculously long emails that tend to be ridiculously short sighted and pointless, but they make me laugh so I continue to send them. If you wish to be taken off the list just reply and let me know - I promise I won't be offended, but most people on the list will be confused because everyone always tells me that these emails are hilarious. And by "everyone" I mean "my mom". And by "are hilarious" I mean "need to stop".

So if you're still with me that means you probably read the subject line and you now realize that Amy's done mooching and is finally making some strides towards earning her keep. What is she doing? Pretty much what she does right now anyway: helping folks plan the Disney trip of their dreams. That's right, she's working as a travel agent for a company that specializes in Disney trips, so if you're planning to finally get the family out there or if you're planning a cruise because you hate your kids and don't want them to experience the magic of Disney, I have a great agent who will do a great job to help you out greatly.

I think last time we talked, I was worried about Allison going to school. Well the time is upon us and she is doing great! She's busy at school all day scouting out the hot moms and bringing the Intel back to me while maintaining the facade of "I colored three trains today" when she talks to her mom.

We also talked about Jordan...wait, no we didn't as she's the second child and tends to be ignored. I don't even know where to start with that kid, she's hilarious. We went to Allison's school for a parent teacher conference and as we are walking to the school, Jordan veers to the right, places her hand on the bricks of one of the columns, closely examines it for a few moments, and then looks at me with a very serious and pensive expression and proclaims, "There is no way the big bad wolf is going to blow this school down."

If you've been diligent and have been checking theschrenks.blogspot.com - wait, you haven't been checking my blog? For shame...

Well, to catch you up - we got to see Perry the PlatyBus!!! If you have no idea who this is then you either have a) no children, 2) no sense for good television, or 9er) no excuse not to get yourself sufficiently addicted to one of the funniest shows on TV (Phineas and Ferb). Once you've finished your 10th episode you can continue reading...


No cheating, go watch the show....




Now that I've brought laughter to your life, we need to change course and discuss a serious disease that I am greatly concerned about and I think the media is spinning it the wrong way. This disease is, of course, Bieber fever. My kids don't even know who that is but they request his silly songs. I guess the songs are pretty harmless but they're also pretty clever-lyricless, decent-musicless, and not-being-dumbless. I think I caught Bieber fever because whenever I hear a song by that guy I throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Anyway, time for the shout outs

Proof that the Navy is still better off without me, M was promoted to LCDR, which is awesome because M is awesome so it's awesome when awesome things happen to awesome people.

Further proof that the Navy is still better of without me, C the third (known to many as "C" and to some as "Bruce") was promoted to LCDR as well. What's even cooler than that was that I got to talk to "C" a few weeks ago and, to the excitement of some but to the disappointment of most, he inspired me to write this email because it's been awhile. So "C" I dedicate this email to you and your awesomeness. HOLLA!

Proof that the world is not as safe as it was - my shoutout for this man's return from the sandbox. Welcome back to the states W-law - we're all proud of you buddy. Now where's my shirt?!?!

It's a rare thing for a newcomer to make the shout out list, but I can't help but make an exception to congratulate J and L for the newest Bronco fan.

And further proof that Amy and I are trendsetters, K and D had a second kid. He is adorable, great job you two. Hey, if you see W, can you ask him where my shirt is?

And most importantly, a shout out to Travel with the Magic...Thanks for hiring Amy 'cause my kids gots ta eat!

And I'm out...
B