Veteran's Day Through the Eyes of a Veteran

Howdy kids...over...

It's official - I am officially a veteran and no longer in the inactive reserves (though it's unlikely that a man of my meager talents and no EOT award would have been recalled anyway...after all, I probably have two or three recruiters on this list). Most of you probably thought I was out of the Navy 3 years ago (and through a
technicallity, most of you were right but I didn't know that then) but the way the paperwork is worded, you serve 8 years, and at least 4 of them must be active duty. After my commitment I was supposed to serve about 3 years in a reserve status, though...blah, blah, blah...if you're really interested give me a call. As most of you know I prefer to keep these emails short.

Anyway, over the last few months I've been reflecting how life out of the military (or life in the "real world") differs from life in the military. Because I'm such a friendly sort (and because every email I send makes it more likely that at least one person will reply) I want to share these with you.

I'm assuming everyone's military and civilian experience was identical to mine, so I will phrase my observations as such.

The most common phrases uttered in the military are "I'm sorry Sir.","My mistake Sir", and "It won't happen again Sir". In the real world the most common phrases uttered are "I'm sorry Michelle", "My mistake Michelle" and "It won't happen again Michelle" (for those unaware, Michelle is my boss).

People in the military have one daughter. People in the real world have 2 daughters.

In the military it is expected that your uniform is pressed, your shoes are shined, and you are well groomed. In the real world, no one expects these things, but ex-military are really impressed when they see it.

In the military, when they say "Join the Navy, see the world" they mean "Join the Navy, see Missisippi and Kuwait". In the real world when your wife says "Quit the Navy and we'll move to Texas" she means"Quit the Navy and we'll move to Texas."

In the military, Mike Shanahan coaches the Broncos to an AFC championship. In the real world, Josh McDaniels rips your heart out like that crazy cult leader in "Temple of Doom" only with less compassion and greater efficiency.

In the military, people ignore Schrenk mass emails. In the real world, people ignore Schrenk mass emails.

In the military, it takes an arm and a leg to get a chance to even look at your weapon, ammunition is even harder to get, and you are completely responsible for anything related to it. In the real world, most people can't find the gun they want to show you because it's buried somewhere in their vehicle with the rest of their concealed hand guns and unlimited ammunition. (This might just be Texas).

In the military, a 24 year old can be responsible for a company of 92 troops. In the real world, most 30 year olds have never managed more than 10 people.

People in the military have 1 dog. People in the real world have 2 dogs.

In the military, there are good movies. In the real world...Avatar.
In the military, all jobs serve a purpose. In the real world...Lawyers.
In the military, covers (hats) serve a purpose. In the real world...Fedoras.

In the military, they honor and respect Veterans Day, and all those who helped to make this country what it is and the families who sacrificed to keep the family together in the midst of the turmoil.

In the real world, we do too.

Schrenk
Out

Brandon on Deployment - Kuwait - 2006

Homecoming August 8, 2006 - 18 hours before Allison's birth