Deck the Halls with Something Something (Brandon Mass Email)

Greetings during the Santa Season Comrades,

Can you believe it's already December? It seems like 2010 went by faster than an Olympic luger (still too soon?).

The annual Christmas Card that exactly two of you look forward to (thanks Mom and Dad) is finally complete and should be on its way soon. For those who don't get a paper copy, I will send an email about 5 days after it's mailed and we will post it on the blog. If you wanted a paper copy and didn't get one, please don't be offended we have plenty. Just reply and we'll pop one in the mail. As always, the most sure fire way toget a paper copy is to send us your Christmas Card. And to not be a lawyer.

For the first time ever, please allow me to introduce the "Schrenk Christmas Card Outtakes". Amy wouldn't let me put these in the letter (much like the luger opening), but they make me laugh so I'm forwarding them in my arena:

Both girls started swim lessons and Brandon’s pretty sure that within the next 15 years we’ll see the next two Michael Phelps, and by that he of course means pictures of the two of them smoking dope will show up on the internet.
Brandon is still working on his next degree (just like every waitress at Hooters).

If you like these you should go pick up your phone and yell at Amy for keeping our Christmas letter somewhat classy.

On another note, we've been recording an awful lot Christmas movies on the DVR this year (which means I'm gong to have to dump a bunch in January to make room for all the new episodes of "Secret Life of an American Teenager" - for the kids of course), but I'm noticing a scary trend. Then I searched on line and found that it was true - do you have any idea how many people have saved Santa?

To name a small incomplete list: the boy, the dog, the mouse, the bears, Elmo, Dora the Explorer, Ernest, Inspector Gadget, the South Park kids and Jesus, the Pimp, the Easter Bunny, even KISS has saved Santa/Christmas for a whole variety of reasons mostly relating to his own ineptitude - how many times has the guy needed saving?

I don't know exactly how long Christmas has been around and nobody really knows for sure. (On a side note, someone should really research the origins and maybe even write a book - I think it would be popular. Not Harry Potter popular, but there would almost definitely be interest). But for arguments sake let's say there have been 2010 Christmases. I'm not great at math, but I'm pretty sure my list contained at least 1000 saves. So almost half the times he's hopped on his sleigh he's needed the aid of clever kids, dogs, or pimps. Crazy.

Alright, yall (that's Texan for I'm too lazy to use two words to address a crowd) have a mighty fine holiday season and take the time to pray for those who really need it this this time of year...The Denver Broncos.

B