Did you thank, kiss, or flash a veteran today? (Brandon Mass Email)

Greetings comrades,

Despite a crushing blow to capitalism and a new presidency bound to leave a few of my military friends looking for work, I wanted to take a second to thank all of my friends, and all of their families, for their service to the country I love. If you haven't done any of those things mentioned in the subject line, don't worry, it's not too late. Please either reply with an attached seductive photo or send said photo to:

Brandon Schrenk
Attn: BRANDON ONLY, AMY DON'T OPEN THIS
Pearland TX, 77584

No tumors,please. And before anyone gets offended for no reason, that is not a comment on cancer, unless you consider Kenny's existence a cancer on humanity which it very well may be.

Well, now that I've wasted a little of your time, why not some more? Things are really going well for the Schrenks these days. I took my Professional Engineer exam a few weeks ago and feel really good about it. I should know by Christmas whether I get a new title of Brandon Schrenk, P.E., or get to keep the old title, Brandon Schrenk, P.I.M.P.

My brother came down from Dallas last weekend to help me fix our fence - yeah, I know the storm was almost two months ago, shut up. But it was awesome because between the two of us it almost looks like someone who knows what they were doing fixed the fence. And by between the two of us, of course I mean Nathan did all the work while I read the newspaper. And by read the newspaper I mean I looked at the comics while Allison helped me out with the tough words.

We are planning on a trip to San Antonio the week of Thanksgiving and Colorado from Dec 17-25 so get your tickets now for the Pearland Schrenks Travelling Salvation Show (brother loves it). We'll be splitting our time in CO between Longmont and Colorado Springs so let me know where you'll be and we'll get together then!

Allison started a preschool last week which was surprisingly tough on me. I'm all about her getting out of the house and around other kids, and she's twice the size of any other kids her age so if any boy trys any funny stuff I know she will "eat his children" (Tyson-style, of course) but it's just hard for me to believe she's old enough for that non-sense.

Jordan is still the happiest kid ever born and will be six months old this week. So far I've only tried to drown her once and haven't let her fall off of my bed once so we're still two drownings and one falling off the bed short of where Allison was at this point so I'm considering, but I don't want to jinx myself, applying for father of the year. You'd vote for me, right?

This site is awesome:http://joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm But it really sucks when you find out the number one song when your daughter was born is "Promiscuous".

Other cool sites are theschrenks.blogspot.com and www.theschrenks.shutterfly.com.

That's all for now kids. We're preparing the annual Christmas letter and if you don't get one in the mail it's probably been sent to an address where you no longer reside. Just to make sure, send me your address. If you don't care if you get a paper copy I will send it with another outrageously hilarious email early next year.

Hope all is well with you and don't let the next four years get you down,
B